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To the many Dads that I have Doula'd or will soon Doula for -
I thank you for inviting me into your sacred event of birth; I commend you for being man enough to truly BE present with your loved one in her time of labor; I encourage you to savor every moment of the Journey of Fatherhood: Be gentle with your children so that they learn to be gentle with others, Be a leader in the home so that they learn how to lead as well as follow. Forgive them so that they learn to forgive. Encourage them so that they learn to how to encourage. Love them fiercely so that they learn to love fiercely. With great appreciation for who you are, Doula Memmy |
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Photo Cred: Meredith Black Photography
Paul and Baby London
The birth of our daughter was simply amazing. She arrived happy, healthy, and was delivered naturally and intervention‐free. Only minutes after the most physically and emotionally demanding event of her life, my wife stated it was the most beautiful birth experience she could imagine. All this was possible simply because of the caring and extremely knowledgeable guidance of Emily.
Early in my wife’s pregnancy we were unsure about using a doula. We thought attending birth classes and reading the usual books would be all the preparation we needed. However, the more we learned, the more we felt we would need expert guidance to achieve the natural, intervention‐free birth we so strongly desired. I didn’t have any idea of how I would react to seeing my wife in such pain and physical stress. Would I be able to remember our birth plan during labor? What if during labor my wife asks for pain medication after months of adamantly stating she wanted a completely natural birth? Do I give in to her? How will I comfort her when the pain is so strong she can barely communicate with me? What should I bring to the hospital? All these questions were looming over us prior to our daughter’s birthday. Thankfully, through a friend we were introduced to Emily who answered all of our questions and guided us through the birth experience.
We began meeting with Emily several weeks before our daughter was born, and she immediately began to put our minds at ease. Her knowledge about the very specific events leading to labor, the actual delivery process, and the weeks following the birth are outstanding. There was never a question Emily didn’t answer or help us figure out. She has so much expert knowledge and is able to communicate to you in such a clear and caring way.
During the actual labor, Emily was able to completely comfort my wife and guide her through the contractions using all the techniques we had learned and practiced leading up to the birth. She was an enormous help to me, by patiently leading me through the process and showing me the best ways to soothe and assist my wife with anything she needed. I was amazed by how well she could read and interpret my wife’s emotions and needs, even though my wife could barely communicate to us during her contractions. Because my wife was delivering in a hospital, communication between Emily and the hospital staff was paramount. Emily was able to respectfully work together with the hospital nurses and staff to ensure the best interests of my wife and child. My wife was able to achieve the natural birth she wanted so deeply, and Emily clearly was an enormous reason for that. Emily’s expertise is obvious and her intentions are completely pure, she only wants what is best for you and your child. Working with her for the birth of our daughter was the best decision we could have possibly made. We are so very thankful for her!
The birth of our daughter was simply amazing. She arrived happy, healthy, and was delivered naturally and intervention‐free. Only minutes after the most physically and emotionally demanding event of her life, my wife stated it was the most beautiful birth experience she could imagine. All this was possible simply because of the caring and extremely knowledgeable guidance of Emily.
Early in my wife’s pregnancy we were unsure about using a doula. We thought attending birth classes and reading the usual books would be all the preparation we needed. However, the more we learned, the more we felt we would need expert guidance to achieve the natural, intervention‐free birth we so strongly desired. I didn’t have any idea of how I would react to seeing my wife in such pain and physical stress. Would I be able to remember our birth plan during labor? What if during labor my wife asks for pain medication after months of adamantly stating she wanted a completely natural birth? Do I give in to her? How will I comfort her when the pain is so strong she can barely communicate with me? What should I bring to the hospital? All these questions were looming over us prior to our daughter’s birthday. Thankfully, through a friend we were introduced to Emily who answered all of our questions and guided us through the birth experience.
We began meeting with Emily several weeks before our daughter was born, and she immediately began to put our minds at ease. Her knowledge about the very specific events leading to labor, the actual delivery process, and the weeks following the birth are outstanding. There was never a question Emily didn’t answer or help us figure out. She has so much expert knowledge and is able to communicate to you in such a clear and caring way.
During the actual labor, Emily was able to completely comfort my wife and guide her through the contractions using all the techniques we had learned and practiced leading up to the birth. She was an enormous help to me, by patiently leading me through the process and showing me the best ways to soothe and assist my wife with anything she needed. I was amazed by how well she could read and interpret my wife’s emotions and needs, even though my wife could barely communicate to us during her contractions. Because my wife was delivering in a hospital, communication between Emily and the hospital staff was paramount. Emily was able to respectfully work together with the hospital nurses and staff to ensure the best interests of my wife and child. My wife was able to achieve the natural birth she wanted so deeply, and Emily clearly was an enormous reason for that. Emily’s expertise is obvious and her intentions are completely pure, she only wants what is best for you and your child. Working with her for the birth of our daughter was the best decision we could have possibly made. We are so very thankful for her!
Tyler S. and Baby Boone
My wife and I just had our first child and I couldn't imagine doing it without the help of Emily. There were a few occasions during the pregnancy that my wife would have a class or appointment that I couldn't attend and Emily would step in to accompany my wife. It was a huge relief for my wife and I that Emily could be there when I couldn't. Emily was able to answer any questions my wife and I had during the pregnancy and also helped us out with questions for our doctors that we didn't think to ask. On the day our son was born Emily was able to attend my wife's c-section. She was extremely helpful during the surgery and stayed with my wife while I accompanied the doctors to weigh, measure, and examine our son. If Emily hadn't been there I honestly can't imagine how we would have gotten through the surgery. Emily is also pretty good with a camera which is great for guys like me who get caught up in the moment and forget to take any pictures for your wife. After the surgery Emily made sure we were settled then gave us time alone with our son. Once we got home Emily came by to help my wife with breast feeding and gave us a few tips to help get him to sleep. I would highly reccomend using Emily to anyone thinking of using a doula. |
 Meredith, Aaron, Holden, and Callum
At first, when my wife mentioned she wanted to do
HypnoBirthing classes, I was skeptical. I was also very interested. I accompanied my wife to most of the classes and was very impressed with the knowledge and experience of our Doula. I felt the program really empowered my wife as she learned how to mentally and physically prepare for birth. It also empowered me to be a better coach as I learned to feed off of my wife's cues both verbally and physically. It was well worth the investment of time, effort and money to become a part of the HypnoBirthing family. -Aaron K 
As a husband and a dad I can say that having Emily during our entire pregnancy and delivery of our baby Alanna was a true blessing. Emily has a perfect combination of knowledge, experience and sweetness. I will be forever grateful. There is no better person to have bedside during your pregnancy and the delivery of your baby!! - Chris V |
I was not familiar with the term “doula” until my wife was pregnant with our first child. My wife explained that the supportive role of a doula to husband, wife, and other family members. We interviewed many doulas and knew right away that she was the best choice for our family! Emily has a stellar resume and her personality exudes confidence and calmness in one package. Emily was there during prenatal appointments, supported us through a very LONG labor & delivery, and spent time with us and our newborn son. My wife continues to take Emily’s postpartum classes and regularly attends gatherings with moms she has met through Emily’s Facebook group. I firmly believe that Emily with us was instrumental in my wife achieving her goal of an un-medicated delivery. Emily helped us weigh all of our options and supported us no matter what decisions we made along the way. After the important role that Emily served, I can’t imagine not having a doula. Having Emily as our doula was a God send for my wife and helped me better serve my wife during through one of the most challenging, yet rewarding days our life – the birth of our son. - Brian S.
My wife and I decided to hire Emily for our first child. It's hard for me to describe the stress and worry I felt seeing my wife go through such a long labor and a natural birth. As a man I wanted to stop the pain and discomfort I saw my wife in and I couldn't. Emily was there or always picking up the phone for me to talk it through. She reminded me that everything my wife was going through was natural and normal and helped me be a better husband to my wife when she needed me the most. I will always be grateful for Emily's wisdom and care in the whole process. - Joseph H.
Jenna, Baby Owen James and Matthew
Emily was the perfect guide to lead us during the pregnancy and birth; I couldn't imagine not wanting to have her at your side. There are so many questions about the birth and also the time period before. You recieve so much information, much of which conflicts - or conflicts with your own beliefs. Having Emily to help us sort out what we wanted, and make decisions ahead of time gave us a sense of calmness and confidence going into the big day - which came a bit earlier than expected! Her warm and energetic passion for helping moms and dads bring their baby into the world seems to fuel her and give her energy to spend those many hours supporting us and others at all hours of the day and night. Emily has experience that also made us feel very comfortable. Her time as a midwife in South Africa and all of her Doula experience since is evident in her abilities and knowledge.
We also benefitted greatly (both my wife and I) by learning HypnoBirthing. I was pretty surprised how effective a couple of them were on me - and it was amazing to see my wife relax so much when normally she would be very much in a state of worry or concern during stressful things. She used the strategy during some difficult times and it was night-and-day different because of that. We attended two other classes, a few nights each for new parents - we learned about all the things the hospital, swaddling, the birth canal, - all the standard stuff. It was time consuming, but I was happy to do it to prepare for my son. Emily's class and guidance was worth 10 times those classes. -Matthew H.
We also benefitted greatly (both my wife and I) by learning HypnoBirthing. I was pretty surprised how effective a couple of them were on me - and it was amazing to see my wife relax so much when normally she would be very much in a state of worry or concern during stressful things. She used the strategy during some difficult times and it was night-and-day different because of that. We attended two other classes, a few nights each for new parents - we learned about all the things the hospital, swaddling, the birth canal, - all the standard stuff. It was time consuming, but I was happy to do it to prepare for my son. Emily's class and guidance was worth 10 times those classes. -Matthew H.
Perry and Kai
Perry, Father of 3 under the age of 3, writes:
I wanted to give you the advantages of using a doula from the Dad's perspective....!
We used Emily for the birth of our 3rd child in May of this year. It was a whole new way of looking at things. We used a combination of a doula and the HypnoBirthing process and classes. Emily was amazing, from meeting with us at our house for the initial consultation and explaining the steps, to actually meeting my wife at her doctor's appointment, to checking in with us throughout the pregnancy cycle. She was always there to answer questions, make suggestions and put my wife at ease, in a different way than any doctor could do. When the 40th week rolled around, Emily was "on call" for us and made us her priority! She stayed with Sasha ALL through the night and next morning, including many walks, coaching sessions, advice, and support...until finally we got our lil baby boy Kaiyan the next morning at 7lbs, 11 ounces! As a dad, it was so helpful & comforting to have a doula to help with all the huge ups and downs of the birthing process. Thank you, Emily, for the incredible job you did and the amazing person you are!
Scott, introducing his daughter Elsie to her brother, Charlie
Scott writes about Midwives and Doulas:
I experienced a home birth for my second child, and let me just say that the stress level was nonexistent, in comparison to the hospital birth. I would recommend any family to go this route if you have a pregnancy with no complications. The midwife, Bree Moses and the doula, Emily Wannenburg were a large part of the low stress level, in that their professional approach made the experience go smoothly. They worked as a team to keep my wife focused on her goal of having a drug free birthing experience. I would say that she not only had a better experience, but she also had less pain, a faster recovery time and, up until now, 6 weeks later, no postpartum depression. She was up and moving around with a heightened spirit hours after the birth. I am proud of her as a husband and a friend for not only choosing this road but following through. I would recommend this experience to any family over the hospital.
I experienced a home birth for my second child, and let me just say that the stress level was nonexistent, in comparison to the hospital birth. I would recommend any family to go this route if you have a pregnancy with no complications. The midwife, Bree Moses and the doula, Emily Wannenburg were a large part of the low stress level, in that their professional approach made the experience go smoothly. They worked as a team to keep my wife focused on her goal of having a drug free birthing experience. I would say that she not only had a better experience, but she also had less pain, a faster recovery time and, up until now, 6 weeks later, no postpartum depression. She was up and moving around with a heightened spirit hours after the birth. I am proud of her as a husband and a friend for not only choosing this road but following through. I would recommend this experience to any family over the hospital.
Eric and his beautiful daughter, Anya
Eric Writes:
My wife invited me to join her at a “meeting of the doulas” after work. I thought this was going to be the first step in a series of awkward gatherings and classes that I would have to endure as a good partner and husband. A handful of doulas introduced themselves, their philosophies and experiences, and their general style of coaching and support. Emily immediately stood out because of here breadth of experience and places that she has been a doula.
My wife invited me to join her at a “meeting of the doulas” after work. I thought this was going to be the first step in a series of awkward gatherings and classes that I would have to endure as a good partner and husband. A handful of doulas introduced themselves, their philosophies and experiences, and their general style of coaching and support. Emily immediately stood out because of here breadth of experience and places that she has been a doula.
Chris and his buddy, Brayden
Chris writes on HypnoBirthing:
When my wife came to me and said that she thinks that she wants to do "Hypnobirthing" for our first child I was a little hesitant. Mainly because I did not know anything about it, as I found out more info it became clear as to why she wanted to do and I was supporting her (after all it is her body and she will know what is best). After the classes I was more confident but also a little skeptical if it could be as calm as depicted in some of the videos we watched, to my surprise it WAS! When Nichole woke me up on Feb 2 to tell me that she thought that she was in labor I did not fully believe her, the only way I knew she was having a "surge" was when I would ask a question and I would be met with a finger or that look that all husbands know. I would highly recommend this to anyone that wants to try a birth that is calm and peaceful. I believe that our son Brayden is a calm baby because he was brought into this world in a calm manner without all the stress normally associated with giving birth. I could not imagine using any other technique or training for our other births, also I could not imagine going through this without a Doula to help guide us through the experience.
And Doulas: Your knowledge and experience aided us in what I hope is the standard for all other births that we have! Having you there took a lot of unneeded stress off of Nichole and I which was great. When I was not with Nichole I knew she was in good hands and would not need anything because you were there. Having someone that could help you through the flood of emotions and keep you on track was vital to our success. At one point the Doctor wanted to cut Nichole and you just talked to Nichole and the Doctor to agree to one more surge and then all of a sudden Brayden's head was out!
I hope that more people decide to use Doulas because they are just there for you, not just at the hospital, they only care about what is going on with you! I think that the biggest thing is submitting your ego (as a Dad) - thinking that I can do this - we do not need a Doula (my first reaction) but this was the best possible decision that we could have made!
Thank you, so much, Emily! I know you made this a great experience for all of us. I cannot promise the next one will be from 7 am to 1pm though!
When my wife came to me and said that she thinks that she wants to do "Hypnobirthing" for our first child I was a little hesitant. Mainly because I did not know anything about it, as I found out more info it became clear as to why she wanted to do and I was supporting her (after all it is her body and she will know what is best). After the classes I was more confident but also a little skeptical if it could be as calm as depicted in some of the videos we watched, to my surprise it WAS! When Nichole woke me up on Feb 2 to tell me that she thought that she was in labor I did not fully believe her, the only way I knew she was having a "surge" was when I would ask a question and I would be met with a finger or that look that all husbands know. I would highly recommend this to anyone that wants to try a birth that is calm and peaceful. I believe that our son Brayden is a calm baby because he was brought into this world in a calm manner without all the stress normally associated with giving birth. I could not imagine using any other technique or training for our other births, also I could not imagine going through this without a Doula to help guide us through the experience.
And Doulas: Your knowledge and experience aided us in what I hope is the standard for all other births that we have! Having you there took a lot of unneeded stress off of Nichole and I which was great. When I was not with Nichole I knew she was in good hands and would not need anything because you were there. Having someone that could help you through the flood of emotions and keep you on track was vital to our success. At one point the Doctor wanted to cut Nichole and you just talked to Nichole and the Doctor to agree to one more surge and then all of a sudden Brayden's head was out!
I hope that more people decide to use Doulas because they are just there for you, not just at the hospital, they only care about what is going on with you! I think that the biggest thing is submitting your ego (as a Dad) - thinking that I can do this - we do not need a Doula (my first reaction) but this was the best possible decision that we could have made!
Thank you, so much, Emily! I know you made this a great experience for all of us. I cannot promise the next one will be from 7 am to 1pm though!
Hubert, on the home birth of his second child:
When my wife told me she wanted to have a home birth I was hesitant at first but soon came around. Then she told me that she wanted to have a doula attend the birth. My first response was "what the heck is a doula?" and my second was "why in the world do I need to PAY someone to tell you that you are doing great? I can do that for free." Boy was I wrong!
Emily attended the birth of my daughter and her services were invaluable. I honestly believe my wife and I may not have made it if Emily had not been there. Her knowledge, guidance, coaching, encouragement and incredible spirit made an extremely challenging process bearable. She provided my wife with support that I would have never been able to give her. For me that relieved the guilt that I felt about how difficult it was for my wife and how helpless I was during the entire process. Emily's only focus was to do whatever was necessary to help my wife make it through.
If you are considering use a doula, I would HIGHLY recommend it. And if you are going to use one - there is no better one than Emily! You will not be disappointed!
When my wife told me she wanted to have a home birth I was hesitant at first but soon came around. Then she told me that she wanted to have a doula attend the birth. My first response was "what the heck is a doula?" and my second was "why in the world do I need to PAY someone to tell you that you are doing great? I can do that for free." Boy was I wrong!
Emily attended the birth of my daughter and her services were invaluable. I honestly believe my wife and I may not have made it if Emily had not been there. Her knowledge, guidance, coaching, encouragement and incredible spirit made an extremely challenging process bearable. She provided my wife with support that I would have never been able to give her. For me that relieved the guilt that I felt about how difficult it was for my wife and how helpless I was during the entire process. Emily's only focus was to do whatever was necessary to help my wife make it through.
If you are considering use a doula, I would HIGHLY recommend it. And if you are going to use one - there is no better one than Emily! You will not be disappointed!
Geoff, Kelly, and Declan
Geoff Writes:
PART I: Why Does a Dad-to-Be Need a Doula?
Have you ever had a hard time knowing what to do when your partner is having cramps, or other kinds of pain? What have you done to help her? Would you know what to do if that pain persisted for hours? What if hours turned into FIFTY-SEVEN hours?
Our birth story was pretty unique. My warrior wife labored for FIFTY-SEVEN hours, trying to lead us down the path of our “birth plan” (more on that later). We had talked for weeks about what we wanted for our birth. We had a lot of things planned out. Nearly none of it happened. If your partner is anything like my wife, changing the plan can be harrowing in itself. Doing so when she is more exhausted, both physically and mentally, than she has ever been before, had the potential to be downright dangerous.
We really liked the birth center where we planned to welcome our baby into the world. The midwives and their staff seemed great – and they were. The birth center was homey and calming. That was important for my high-strung wife.
I know nothing about medical stuff. Nothing about health insurance. I’m uncomfortable in hospitals, since I’ve been blessed enough in life to have spent virtually no time in them, even as a visitor. I’m not a fan of doctors, for the most part – or at least I don’t appreciate the way they dictate their opinions as fact, and their way as the only option (did you know that you can question what they say?).
“Birth Plan,” right? Another thing to do, and another where I had no clue as to what choices would be best for our family. Should we circumcise if it’s a boy? Get Vitamin K, or a Hepatitis B shot? There are plenty of these decisions to be made, all of which are well outside my area(s) of expertise.
This leads to why I needed a doula. I wanted to be present for my wife, both physically and emotionally. Having to deal with the medical mumbo-jumbo was going to take a good bit of brain power. She and I lean on each other a LOT in these kinds of decisions, and I knew she wouldn’t be mentally available to help in this case. Our doula, Emily, was able to help with this. This was my original “big” reason for wanting to hire a doula. While that was very important as the days (yes, DAYS) of labor passed, it turned out to not be the #1 reason we needed her – why *I* needed her.
After a hard day at work, have you ever felt mentally drained? Multiply that by infinity. And then multiply it again. And then try to be an emotional and physical rock for your partner without sleep. Ah, yes, sleep. Need some of that during a 57 hour labor – or heck, even during a regular-length labor.
I couldn’t have done any of this without my doula’s support. Or at least I couldn’t have done a good job. And my wife was a *warrior* like I never knew she could be, so I really wanted to be there for her. It was a two-person job, and our doula was an incredibly important part of it. She was there to help with physical things like gentle rubbing, hair stroking, help with moving around, and exercising in the correct ways to get the baby to turn. Did you know that the baby not only should be head-down, but also facing backward (away from mom’s belly button)? And that there are exercises mom can do to get the baby to turn over? Yet another reason you need a doula!
PART II: Why Emily Should Be YOUR Doula!
If you read Part I, you’ll remember that I get a bit intimidated by “medical stuff”. A big part of the reason we chose Emily (or at least why I argued for Emily) was because of her medical background. While this turned out to be invaluable, it also did not end up being nearly the most important part.
My wife is from the northeast US. She’s high-strung, as is typical of folks from that region. I’m much more laid-back, but not always strong enough to bring her to a good calm place. I knew we’d need help there. Emily is such a rock! Always calm, always nice and even. Firm when you need her to be, but never in an uncomfortable way. This calming presence was also a significant influence for us – particularly for me.
My wife is far from an athlete. She’s blessed to be naturally thin, but does not exercise. I knew she would need to exercise simply for her health after the baby was born. Emily also owns and runs 4th Trimester Fitness, and so this was a factor in our decision as well.
Truth be told, we simply felt a connection. Emily’s personality was exactly what we were looking for. We’re going to spend some of the most important and stressful hours (that turned into days for us) in our lives with this person. It was important to us to choose someone with whom we’d like to spend this time. Someone who is enjoyable to be around. Someone who is easy to talk to, for hours.
None of those things turned out to be the most important part, though. Emily simply became a friend, and quite frankly, a member of our young family. She was absolutely amazing in every possible way. Wouldn’t it be great if you didn’t have to pick a doula from a group of people you don’t know, but rather had a doula in the family, someone who you were very close with? THAT is what we got when we hired Emily. We didn’t know that at the time, but it turned out to be absolutely true. She was, fittingly, the first person outside our family to hold our son. We continue to stay in touch, and I really don’t see that changing. You don’t get rid of family simply because her “job” is done. And no, it never for one minute felt like she was doing a job. Emily was a loving influence for us and continues to be.
Though having medical expertise and someone to “show us the ropes” won’t be quite as necessary should we have another child, there is zero chance we would attempt it without Emily. I wouldn’t recommend *anyone* do this without a doula, and would wholeheartedly recommend Emily!
PART I: Why Does a Dad-to-Be Need a Doula?
Have you ever had a hard time knowing what to do when your partner is having cramps, or other kinds of pain? What have you done to help her? Would you know what to do if that pain persisted for hours? What if hours turned into FIFTY-SEVEN hours?
Our birth story was pretty unique. My warrior wife labored for FIFTY-SEVEN hours, trying to lead us down the path of our “birth plan” (more on that later). We had talked for weeks about what we wanted for our birth. We had a lot of things planned out. Nearly none of it happened. If your partner is anything like my wife, changing the plan can be harrowing in itself. Doing so when she is more exhausted, both physically and mentally, than she has ever been before, had the potential to be downright dangerous.
We really liked the birth center where we planned to welcome our baby into the world. The midwives and their staff seemed great – and they were. The birth center was homey and calming. That was important for my high-strung wife.
I know nothing about medical stuff. Nothing about health insurance. I’m uncomfortable in hospitals, since I’ve been blessed enough in life to have spent virtually no time in them, even as a visitor. I’m not a fan of doctors, for the most part – or at least I don’t appreciate the way they dictate their opinions as fact, and their way as the only option (did you know that you can question what they say?).
“Birth Plan,” right? Another thing to do, and another where I had no clue as to what choices would be best for our family. Should we circumcise if it’s a boy? Get Vitamin K, or a Hepatitis B shot? There are plenty of these decisions to be made, all of which are well outside my area(s) of expertise.
This leads to why I needed a doula. I wanted to be present for my wife, both physically and emotionally. Having to deal with the medical mumbo-jumbo was going to take a good bit of brain power. She and I lean on each other a LOT in these kinds of decisions, and I knew she wouldn’t be mentally available to help in this case. Our doula, Emily, was able to help with this. This was my original “big” reason for wanting to hire a doula. While that was very important as the days (yes, DAYS) of labor passed, it turned out to not be the #1 reason we needed her – why *I* needed her.
After a hard day at work, have you ever felt mentally drained? Multiply that by infinity. And then multiply it again. And then try to be an emotional and physical rock for your partner without sleep. Ah, yes, sleep. Need some of that during a 57 hour labor – or heck, even during a regular-length labor.
I couldn’t have done any of this without my doula’s support. Or at least I couldn’t have done a good job. And my wife was a *warrior* like I never knew she could be, so I really wanted to be there for her. It was a two-person job, and our doula was an incredibly important part of it. She was there to help with physical things like gentle rubbing, hair stroking, help with moving around, and exercising in the correct ways to get the baby to turn. Did you know that the baby not only should be head-down, but also facing backward (away from mom’s belly button)? And that there are exercises mom can do to get the baby to turn over? Yet another reason you need a doula!
PART II: Why Emily Should Be YOUR Doula!
If you read Part I, you’ll remember that I get a bit intimidated by “medical stuff”. A big part of the reason we chose Emily (or at least why I argued for Emily) was because of her medical background. While this turned out to be invaluable, it also did not end up being nearly the most important part.
My wife is from the northeast US. She’s high-strung, as is typical of folks from that region. I’m much more laid-back, but not always strong enough to bring her to a good calm place. I knew we’d need help there. Emily is such a rock! Always calm, always nice and even. Firm when you need her to be, but never in an uncomfortable way. This calming presence was also a significant influence for us – particularly for me.
My wife is far from an athlete. She’s blessed to be naturally thin, but does not exercise. I knew she would need to exercise simply for her health after the baby was born. Emily also owns and runs 4th Trimester Fitness, and so this was a factor in our decision as well.
Truth be told, we simply felt a connection. Emily’s personality was exactly what we were looking for. We’re going to spend some of the most important and stressful hours (that turned into days for us) in our lives with this person. It was important to us to choose someone with whom we’d like to spend this time. Someone who is enjoyable to be around. Someone who is easy to talk to, for hours.
None of those things turned out to be the most important part, though. Emily simply became a friend, and quite frankly, a member of our young family. She was absolutely amazing in every possible way. Wouldn’t it be great if you didn’t have to pick a doula from a group of people you don’t know, but rather had a doula in the family, someone who you were very close with? THAT is what we got when we hired Emily. We didn’t know that at the time, but it turned out to be absolutely true. She was, fittingly, the first person outside our family to hold our son. We continue to stay in touch, and I really don’t see that changing. You don’t get rid of family simply because her “job” is done. And no, it never for one minute felt like she was doing a job. Emily was a loving influence for us and continues to be.
Though having medical expertise and someone to “show us the ropes” won’t be quite as necessary should we have another child, there is zero chance we would attempt it without Emily. I wouldn’t recommend *anyone* do this without a doula, and would wholeheartedly recommend Emily!
Walker and his little princess, Layla Grayce
Walker writes:
I am a 33 year old father of one precious little girl. My wife and I decided to start having children later in life. Thankfully, this delay also allowed us to gain just enough wisdom to educate ourselves as much as possible before our little girl arrived. My wife wanted to do a homebirth, but I was not keen on the idea. I began to research and found out that homebirths actually have the lowest risk of any facility available.
This sparked my interest about alternative birthing methods. I say alternative, but having your baby at home with the assistance of a midwife or doula was the norm up until about 1950 when our medical industry started churning out more Dr.’s than it knew what to do with. With the big bucks came big changes. Women stopped having children at home, and the word "natural" flew out the window. Everything from the position of labor to the drugs administered changed. When I learned about these changes I was curious, and wanted to learn more about natural childbirth.
We decided to meet with a friend of ours who was a doula. She really helped us by educating us on the ins-and-outs of the pregnancy journey. This set our minds at ease. She then recommended HypnoBirthing to us, which sounded weird and to be honest a little crazy. It was quite a relief when I went to the class and saw what is was all about. It really just helps the woman focus her energy in a positive direction while going through labor. I think going to the classes and talking with our HypnoBirthing teacher, who was a doula herself, and meeting with our doula regularly made all the difference in the world.
We ended up having our child in the hospital, and everything worked out well. I know that the insight of our doula, and HypnoBirthing coach is what ultimately allowed us to have the most stress and worry free child birthing experience possible. I would highly recommend a doula or midwife, and HypnoBirthing to anyone who is looking to be fully informed and at peace when your child arrives.
I am a 33 year old father of one precious little girl. My wife and I decided to start having children later in life. Thankfully, this delay also allowed us to gain just enough wisdom to educate ourselves as much as possible before our little girl arrived. My wife wanted to do a homebirth, but I was not keen on the idea. I began to research and found out that homebirths actually have the lowest risk of any facility available.
This sparked my interest about alternative birthing methods. I say alternative, but having your baby at home with the assistance of a midwife or doula was the norm up until about 1950 when our medical industry started churning out more Dr.’s than it knew what to do with. With the big bucks came big changes. Women stopped having children at home, and the word "natural" flew out the window. Everything from the position of labor to the drugs administered changed. When I learned about these changes I was curious, and wanted to learn more about natural childbirth.
We decided to meet with a friend of ours who was a doula. She really helped us by educating us on the ins-and-outs of the pregnancy journey. This set our minds at ease. She then recommended HypnoBirthing to us, which sounded weird and to be honest a little crazy. It was quite a relief when I went to the class and saw what is was all about. It really just helps the woman focus her energy in a positive direction while going through labor. I think going to the classes and talking with our HypnoBirthing teacher, who was a doula herself, and meeting with our doula regularly made all the difference in the world.
We ended up having our child in the hospital, and everything worked out well. I know that the insight of our doula, and HypnoBirthing coach is what ultimately allowed us to have the most stress and worry free child birthing experience possible. I would highly recommend a doula or midwife, and HypnoBirthing to anyone who is looking to be fully informed and at peace when your child arrives.
Claudia, Little Natalia, and Robby
Robby writes about his experience:
One day I came home from work to my wife telling me that we were going to be going to a HypnoBirthing class. As the supportive husband, I said I would go but of course I didn’t want to, initially. I thought it was just a class where we would learn just a little bit of information about children and birthing and that is it. I was wrong. My first impression of the class was great because of Emily. Both Claudia and I had know for a very long time that a drug-free, natural birth was what we wanted to have. We personally thought that it would be best for our baby. This class was perfect for us. From the get-go I knew Emily was great teacher and had to be a great doula as well. She taught us how to Hypnobirth by making the class interesting. She had slideshows, practice, videos, and some discussion that facilitated learning, making us prepared for the delivery. In every single class, Emily reinforces the material you learned the previous week, which is great because she reviews the most important points that one needs to remember prior, during, and after birth. I also like that Emily taught the classes with the idea that one should have an open-mind. She was realistic, knowing that issues can arise but rather than say, “this is how it is” she gave us all the available options and let us always make our own choices. I believe seeing the videos of courageous mothers giving birth naturally using Hypnobirthing was spectacular. It really helped my wife and I know that a calm, relaxed, natural birth was possible. As a man, I knew nothing about babies. Emily educated me on important things to expect that if I had not know them, I would have been quite nervous at the birth.
One of the key things for Hypnobirthing is practice. If I have to run a marathon in 9 months, I need to put my running shoes on and hit the rode a couple of times a week. On a daily basis, Claudia would practice her breathing and relaxation, listen to the CDs, and read the Hypnobirthing book which would reinforce all the information she needed to know to be prepared.
We had Emily as our Doula and it was a great decision. Claudia went into labor and progressed rather quickly. Our family that was there with us was stunned at how relaxed Claudia was and how calm I was. We were prepared. Claudia and I were doing wonderful prior to Emily’s arrival and we were extremely excited to see her there. Emily helped remind Claudia to breathe our Baby Natalia down, and to remain in a calm and relaxed state. She also made sure that I was okay, and made sure I was doing all I could to help Claudia. We were 100% confident in our success with Emily being there. We trusted her from the moment we met her, and she proved to be the Super Doula one would want! After the birth, Emily helped us take pictures with family and little Natalia, helped Claudia and Natalia bond for the first time through breastfeeding. It was better than I would have ever hoped for it to be.
You always see these movies with screaming women that threaten their husbands during the birth. My experience was not so. The room was quiet enough to hear a pen drop. Our doctor ended up saying that Claudia made birthing look easy. And because of Hypnobirthing, practice, and Emily, it was.
Robby
One day I came home from work to my wife telling me that we were going to be going to a HypnoBirthing class. As the supportive husband, I said I would go but of course I didn’t want to, initially. I thought it was just a class where we would learn just a little bit of information about children and birthing and that is it. I was wrong. My first impression of the class was great because of Emily. Both Claudia and I had know for a very long time that a drug-free, natural birth was what we wanted to have. We personally thought that it would be best for our baby. This class was perfect for us. From the get-go I knew Emily was great teacher and had to be a great doula as well. She taught us how to Hypnobirth by making the class interesting. She had slideshows, practice, videos, and some discussion that facilitated learning, making us prepared for the delivery. In every single class, Emily reinforces the material you learned the previous week, which is great because she reviews the most important points that one needs to remember prior, during, and after birth. I also like that Emily taught the classes with the idea that one should have an open-mind. She was realistic, knowing that issues can arise but rather than say, “this is how it is” she gave us all the available options and let us always make our own choices. I believe seeing the videos of courageous mothers giving birth naturally using Hypnobirthing was spectacular. It really helped my wife and I know that a calm, relaxed, natural birth was possible. As a man, I knew nothing about babies. Emily educated me on important things to expect that if I had not know them, I would have been quite nervous at the birth.
One of the key things for Hypnobirthing is practice. If I have to run a marathon in 9 months, I need to put my running shoes on and hit the rode a couple of times a week. On a daily basis, Claudia would practice her breathing and relaxation, listen to the CDs, and read the Hypnobirthing book which would reinforce all the information she needed to know to be prepared.
We had Emily as our Doula and it was a great decision. Claudia went into labor and progressed rather quickly. Our family that was there with us was stunned at how relaxed Claudia was and how calm I was. We were prepared. Claudia and I were doing wonderful prior to Emily’s arrival and we were extremely excited to see her there. Emily helped remind Claudia to breathe our Baby Natalia down, and to remain in a calm and relaxed state. She also made sure that I was okay, and made sure I was doing all I could to help Claudia. We were 100% confident in our success with Emily being there. We trusted her from the moment we met her, and she proved to be the Super Doula one would want! After the birth, Emily helped us take pictures with family and little Natalia, helped Claudia and Natalia bond for the first time through breastfeeding. It was better than I would have ever hoped for it to be.
You always see these movies with screaming women that threaten their husbands during the birth. My experience was not so. The room was quiet enough to hear a pen drop. Our doctor ended up saying that Claudia made birthing look easy. And because of Hypnobirthing, practice, and Emily, it was.
Robby
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